Truth in Tinsel

Posted: September 19, 2010 in Uncategorized

intel christmas tree in akihabara

Image by shinyai via Flickr


Mid September, it is still warm enough to live outside if necessary. As I walked to the back of the store I saw a shimmer on the floor. The dude that cleans on Saturdays hasn’t come in yet..  It looked like water so I mopped it around with my left righteous MBT. It doesn’t dry, despite my smearing action: there it is, a gentle strand, maybe even three intertwined,  of the finest tinsel, silver, shining, recoiling as I move my fingers towards it.  I grab it and with it,  my first married Christmas decorating blobs up to the top. He had been away, in the States, for the usual two weeks. I had been in Brazil, had thus bought the Brazilian Pine (ARAUCARIA ANGUSTIFOLIA) as it customary. Accustomed as I was to the sharp needles, I managed to bring it up the 16 floors to our apartment without significant loss of blood.  The tree remained stuck in its original pail,  it was the greenest, the scrawniest tree I had ever seen. I don’t know how much I paid for the poor bastard, but I was having a tree ready for him when he came home.  He had a surprise, he said. I was going to be so happy. I’m thinking books, chocolate, jeans, tapes, and I’m as anxious to open his suitcases as the little one in the house.  He finally hands me two pretty smashed up red and green flat boxes that read: Tinsel, Christmas Decoration.  I opened the box and felt the almost warm soft silver shimmering stuff between two fingers. It almost sticks to my skin, but it  doesn’t. For the life of me, I cannot figure out what to do with it.   My thorny Araucaria was already covered with small white cotton balls. The spots covered with the cotton appeared soft, but it was the usual Christmas lie, very much like the tall walls the government built all around the monstrosity that was each plot of slums.. He showed me how to pull  one strand at a time, gently, holding it by its very tip allowing the group resolve the pulled piece’s travel out of the box. .. It worked great maybe for half of the box, then it started to get tangled. Untangling was not fun. The more   Tinsel, Christmas Decoration, I put on the poor Araucaria, the worse it looked. It made my cotton snow look cheap, look barbaric, look so fucking third world. Trying to improve it some, I put as much  Tinsel, Christmas Decoration, as I could untangle without losing my mind. Charitably, we never had the 12 frames 400 ASA Kodak film developed. As there are no witnesses, you only have my word as to the horrible look of my Christmas Araucaria covered in  Tinsel, Christmas Decoration,  wisps of Johnson & Johnson brand cotton balls. He said it looked beautiful, the kindness of a lie retracted with venom at the time we divorced. 


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