oh, but for love

Posted: August 15, 2010 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

i have placed my glass desk at the far end of the room. my feet rest on the computer tower and i slide down my chair. i appear to run the store and i answer the phones, help customer, hug  people. so far i have made three people cry, one because she had found out she’s got melanoma and i held her because i couldn’ t do anything else, the other because she wanted to get some plain shirts for her youth and i designed this shit ass awesome thing so the shirts looked like a million dollars and she only had to pay like eighty. so she held me and cried and blessed me till the end of times and she said i am going to have good things happen to me and that they serve meals on Wednesdays but now they are starting a fundraiser to build a kitchen so that they can serve meals seven days a week. i love my neighborhood  yesterday chief Polly brown came in and she was young, strong, maybe a little overweight and she stood in front of my glass desk about 4 feet away and says good morning ma’am my name is Polly brown i have just been promoted to chief in the navy and i am calling in the businesses in the area in order to raise funds for our upcoming chief’s graduation. i loved the shpeel. i could see that this was not the first time she got up in front of a glass desk under a glass ceiling and spoke to the one in charge and she stood up with her feet comfortably apart and looked me in the eyes. her own looked to be 8 years old and mine, well i was entertained.  when she sat in the sheep skin covered chair next to me just like Bobbie does everyday and like mr Goltz does whenever he comes a-calling with a box of delicious cup cakes, one white , one black, well she looks at me again and says she can’t believe she is a chief now. there were over four hundred candidates two hundred and something passed the test she had been the second one to be picked. and, she says, they pick from records that showed no gender, showed no race so there is a certainty of raw numbers, raw value, raw i made it because i can and not because they think i need special accommodations to join the ranks because I am a 32-year-old black female. and it is nuclear engineering shit, man. so i cry and she sees me crying and she cries with me because it is not every day that you get a naked look at the sense of self-worth of a fellow human.  it is in doing so, that i understand why my shrink cried at the end of our last session.

  1. blackwatertown says:

    Thanks for your intense writing.

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