the green mouse

Posted: August 11, 2010 in Uncategorized
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in the box of caran d’ache there was a green pencil that I adored. I held it and caressed it. the very thought of sharpening its narrow green soul pained me. almost enough to color everything anything but that green. Love. Disney used it on the jacket of one of cinderella’s mouse friend.  that green was stable, solid, happy, uncomplicated and i loved it. i wanted to marry it. i wanted to have sex with it. i wanted to eat it and put it away, away from my sisters who colored everything with the disrespect of troglodytes. their grubby hands grabbed pencils, any pencils with the authority of slave owners. i cringed and waited my chance to hold the green pencil. i copied the little mouse with tracing paper and it looked exact. i colored it carefully. all inside the lines. taking care not to make the whiskers too thick as this would make the mouse look all wrong. his jacket: i saved for last. i could almost feel it in my body. the anticipation, the growing animation inside, my breathing getting faster and wanting to close my eyes. if only i could color his little jacket with my eyes closed i would totally enjoy my moment. green caran d’ache pencil in my right hand, tracing paper secured by my left fist. i smell the green lead and touch the pencil tip to the paper. i want this to go on forever. if only there were no lines, no mouse, no little jacket and the green could go on forever, covering the papers, table, floor, walls, stairways, trash bins, sidewalks, street corners, sacks of dry goods, bearded men, varicose veins, official papers and unofficial births, falsified records, bribed priests, cheating cooks, careless hands, winter hats, bugs, tossed condoms, swings, carps, rowing boats and the ocean in absolute green.


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