the bugger eater

Posted: August 4, 2010 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

brother tony, he said, was his name. halt. people don’t go around saying they are BROTHER anyone. but he did.  we were sitting on the curb waiting for the teens to gather their shit and slow down for the night.  so we sort of talked. he had a big straw hat and i had an english pilot’s cap on. we laughed like i always do with people. i was already in bed when he showed up later on talking about something unimportant and we laughed some more. he was interesting. i was curious and people began to think that i had fallen in love again.  i had not, i was just happy to have a brother tony on that day. i inadvertently threw him out of my bedroom. really didn’t mean it.  we would see each other sometimes by chance and we would see each other other times because we made sure we did. once we tried to work a seminar together but i hated him for being so fucking subjective. just couldn’t take it. in the end we both went home fed up and disappointed, never to work together again.  we were really good at eating out together at nirlep. he would ordered this enormous freaking indian beer and i would invariably have the same curried lamba big beer bottle that he wouldn’t share and curry and lamb. his moist lips would eat and drink, laugh, smile, holding an uninteresting story for a while and i would politely encourage him. he liked it. i liked it.  he said that when he got hungry he sinned. he learned that at the clinic where the catholic church sends the fucked up priests and religious that do shit like drink too much and mess with boys. i never asked which sins. i would see him ogling young boys and girls at mass. much like an 11-year-old he would pretend he was looking at his fingers.  i figure he was always hungry at mass. when he got nervous he would pick his nose and fucking eat it.   he didn’t try to hide it. i think he was so engrossed in his pain at those moments that he was totally alone in the world and it is when you think that you are alone in the world that you pick your nose, stink fart or masturbate. i guess that the effect is the same. he was serving at mass with father ed and he sat there with his long eye  lashes over green eyes and really bushy eyebrows. a beatific smile on his lips he dug and dug for buggers and ate them away. all mass long.  i was blushing all the way to my fucking ass half crying for him, half wishing i had never met him. father ed told me later that he had an uncle who was a priest and he did the same thing.  just like that, my uncle drives a ford. my uncle eats buggers during mass. on the fucking altar for chrissake.  i made a point of never ever touch brother tony’s hands and he obliged. one day we were in my car and i was showing him my shoe – something wrong with it. he yelled at me. he was a man after all, didn’t i know it. i really hadn’t until then.

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